Three Steps to Using Positive Self-Talk to Reduce Stress

Mindset has a lot to do with how stressed we feel and how well we manage that stress. The easiest way to change our mindset is to improve our self-talk. Self-talk is our internal dialogue -in other words, how we talk to ourselves. Self-talk can be negative. "You big dummy! Look what you did now! You’ll never get through this without being fired!") Or it can be positive. "You’ve got this. You’re smart, talented, and know what you’re doing. It’s not that bad. Everything will be alright." Most people use both kinds throughout the day.

We are constantly talking to ourselves. It’s a running stream of positive and negative thoughts in our heads. Negative self-talk increases stress levels, while positive self-talk reduces them. Negative self-talk also makes it harder to deal with our external stressors. It affects how happy we are, how well we perform at work, how easy learning new things is, and many other aspects of our lives.

Start paying attention to the messages you are sending yourself with your self-talk. Are they positive or negative? If you find that you primarily use negative self-talk, you can change it to positive self-talk. Here are three ways to help you make the change and reduce your stress levels.

Start by Reducing the Negativity

The first step is to reduce but not eliminate the negative parts of your self-talk. This step aims to make these negative statements to yourself milder. You do this by catching yourself saying something negative and then repeating it with a milder version.

For instance, if you catch yourself saying, “I hate my job!” stop and say something milder such as “I dislike my job.” Or, if you tend to say things like “This is impossible!” change it to “This is incredibly difficult.” Practice will naturally shift you away from the more negative thoughts to the milder ones.

Slowly Introduce Positive Self-Talk

Once you’ve gotten in the habit of replacing the most negative thoughts with gentler ones, start replacing those statements with positive ones. For example, “This is incredibly difficult” can become “This is hard, but I can do it!” and then “I’ve got this!”

Start Using Positive Affirmations

Our thinking patterns are habits, just like everything else we do all the time. So one way to help stop negative self-talk is to introduce positive affirmations regularly. Pick out a few affirmations you like and say them to yourself multiple times a day. This will help you build up the habit of positive self-talk.

An Example of Affirmation Reflection

I choose not to allow unnecessary stress to control me. I deserve peace.

I let go of unnecessary stress in my life to make way for peace. I deserve peace and recognize its value for my health, productivity, and relationships.

I consciously embrace peace when I find myself facing stressors, and I refuse to waste energy on things that are outside my control.

While I recognize that situations in my life will cause stress regardless of what I do, I assess each situation to determine if this stress is beneficial or pointless. Then, I know I am free to remove that stressor from my life.

I am responsible for my own well-being.

I can choose how stress affects me and how I respond to this glitch in my day. If I am stuck in a traffic jam, for example, I choose to see it as an opportunity to listen to audiobooks or sing along with my favorite tunes.

Stress does not control me or dictate what kind of day I am having. Instead, I control my own responses and choose to make them positive because this path leads to greater peace and productivity.

These three steps, when taken together, will help you permanently reduce your negative self-talk and make it more positive. This will reduce your stress levels, make you healthier, and increase your quality of life.